We have waited for Him

I've tried to post. I really have. I never finish. So I'm not gonna try to put up a lot of pictures and such and instead just talk about some recent cool things. Just trust me that Halloween and the Mexico trip was a lot of fun ;)

Well, Thanksgiving was really good. I really enjoyed kicking back, even though I still had a lot of work to do. But I basically just hung out with my family the whole time, and it was good.

I'm very thankful for this year, despite the season of despair and hurt and so many plain tragic things happening around me. I know it's cliche, but I can really see how God was so at work and pursuing me and loving me throughout. And I love Him for it.

A huge lesson God has been teaching me for years is His sovereignty, and how I can trust in the Lord for everything in my life. One of the coolest ways I've seen this is through prayer, which has been on my heart and mind more since we started praying together in the student union recently, and very much so this week, since my junior Bible study is looking at what Jesus says about prayer.

One thing that's pretty amazing to me is the "ask and you'll receive" factor. He says in Mark 11:24 "whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." That if I did not doubt it, I could move mountains to the sea through prayer. That when we're interceeding for our friends, family, our campus, and the world up on the 4th floor of the union, we should pray with expectation that these things will come true. I've seen God answer so many prayers, often very specifically and explicitly, yet I still wrestle with this. So I've found myself having to pray, as the possessed boy's father did, "Lord I believe; help my unbelief!" Because sometimes what we ask for seems like too much, or I'll fall into praying and asking things while forgetting that I'm actually asking the holy soveriegn God to change something about this world, and that it shouldn't be taken lightly!

The other thing is how this is coupled with what God's will is. While I was in Japan, I started reading Joanna's copy of C.S. Lewis' Letters to Malcom: Chiefly on Prayer. I didn't ever finish it after I moved out of JoMeAppa, but one thing that I still remember and dwell on is how Lewis and Malcom chewed on Jesus' prayer in the garden: "Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will." (Mark 14:36). I remember them talking about the conflict of how God always answers prayer, yet He obviously didn't answer His Son's prayer here. And then they discussed how exactly "not what I will, but what You will" works as a qualifier...and if having a qualifier is like, cheating, because then your prayers are always answered...etc. I forget exactly how they concluded that discussion; I maybe never even got to the end of that chapter...

but basically, everyone's pretty happy that God didn't answer Jesus' prayer, and that God's will prevailed. God's will was better. That's pretty obvious. We're all thankful for that. And we should get into the habit of praying for God's will over ours.

This no less diminishes prayer's power to move mountains. All things are possible, and we are told to "be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:6-7) I've always been interested in how, although God answers our prayers, here it doesn't say "make your requests known, and they'll be given..." like Christ says. We'll have the peace of God...this can be peace knowing and truly believing that what we request for will come. Or peace that whatever happens, God's will will come. Either way, peace comes from making your requests known, not from being too scared or too unbelieving to give them to Him.

I thought about all of this while on the I-10 today, driving back to Tucson. I looked at all of the mountains and thought about moving them, about smashing Picacho Peak into the ostrich farm, and other things. I thought about the ways it could happen (and stuff like, how, in Macbeth, the prophesy of the forests moving was fulfilled by people chopping down all the trees and carrying them off, and stuff...) It actually isn't very hard to believe it could happen when you really think about it.

Then I thought about all of my other "mountains," of which I have a much harder time believing that they can be "moved." So I thought I'd try praying for them, and praying ultimately for God's will. And, well, God's will is one of those big eternal questions, huh? How do we know what God's will is? Well, one recipe of knowing is in Rom. 12:1-2: Offer your bodies as living sacrifices...don't conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good, pleasing, and perfect will... Offer your body as a living sacrifice. Offer yourself. Give it all up. Trust Him with it. Trust Him with your body, your life...which involves sharing what your desires actually are, trusting them with Him, and asking for them to become God's desires. Well, okay.

To wrap up my story, I guess just, for the rest of the day, it was really cool observing God's good, pleasing, and perfect will happen, and His soveriegnty, in just little things, and reflecting again on what He has already done, and so what He will do. I asked for many things today, and I'm ashamed to say it was a surprise, but I also got to see them come today. Some didn't happen the way I planned, but I still recognized it as what it was: an answer to my prayer, and I was amazed at my joy and peace...! I don't know how to express this really; I already failed at expressing it to people, and this blog post is a failure too! But whatever, this is what happened today! And as I look back, these kinds of things have been the exciting story of my life! Even in the dark times, even when my mountain was just believing that sun would shine again. It did.

hmm, this post was really spiritual and "happy"... I feel like it still just doesn't express... I know things aren't always gonna seem awesome. I know this. I've experienced this. And it's obvious when I look around. I don't want to downplay the tears I've shed this weekend, this semester, this life, nor the tears of others - the many tears of others, and unsaid sorrow. But I don't think sorrow's existance needs to, as some wrongfully claim it should, take away from the joy of this reality: Jesus is the Son of the one true God and we have hope in Him! This is our God!

"He will swallow up death forever, and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; for the LORD has spoken. And it will be said in that day: 'Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, and He will save us. This is the LORD; We have waited for Him; We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation(!)'...You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, For in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength." Is 25:8-9, 26:3-4

Speaking of masks...

Back off evildooers! I'm a vending machine! o_O

Full Article here

Picture slideshow here

I like this quote: "The fact that such ideas were greeted with straight faces, or even appeared at all, underscores Japanese society's fondness for oddball ideas and inventions."

Oh Japan, I love you a lot :)

A weekend in Phoenix

I'm back in Phoenix for the first time since my return from San Francisco. It's been interesting; my mom left to see her friend in Virginia Friday night, so it's been just me and my step dad. But it might be one of my best trips yet.

It started off a little rocky. I'm done with school by 1:00 on Fridays, but because there is usually a meeting for freshman Bible study leaders at 4:00 I stuck around. It wasn't until 4:10 that I learned the meeting was canceled. An honest mistake; the announcement was accidentally left out in the email. And everyone else knew it was canceled. So I was a little bummed that, like, I could have had 3 more hours to see my mom had I known and all, but I'll admit, what really bothered me was that the thought of "why was I the ONLY ONE who didn't know it was canceled?" plaugued me for the first part of the I-10.

Well the answer is simple. MOST freshman Bible study leaders are on staff. the rest probably heard from their staff partners. I can't blame Krista because when I talked about it the night before she didn't seem to know it was canceled. I just didn't luck out.

But of course my thoughts then trained off to more thinking, like why was this getting at me so hard, or why, with no one to blame, I was just sad again.

I came to think about last spring break, and was surprised at my memories...

Here's me, joyfully snapping a shot to remember how I was left behind at a restaurant in Mexico. Here, I'm talking to my mother, who's getting really upset by how much I'm laughing. I giggle as I tell her all the information I can about my location, in case I get kidnapped. I'm abandoned in Mexico! How funny!

"Christy, this is not funny! You are ALONE in a FOREIGN COUNTRY! You don't know the language...!"

"Yeah, but God'll protect me! I'll get a hold of the group eventually! I'm gonna be fine!"

And sure enough, about an hour later I'm safe and sound with the group again, watching the sunset behind a soccer game and saying "I love you" to a gang of little Mexican children, who'd I'd even get to see my prayers for them answered a few months later.

It didn't even occur to me until Hannah and Coleen prayed for me when I returned to the church that I should feel left behind. "Lord, please, if Satan's speaking any lies to Christy's heart about feeling unloved or forgotten by being left behind earlier today, please just erase them, and let her know that she is so loved by all of us," they prayed. "Don't worry about me with that," I said after they were done, "I don't feel that way at all. I was seriously laughing the whole time." "Well that's good to hear, but if you did feel that way we seriously wouldn't want you to. We would never mean to make you feel abandoned, so, feel the love now!" they said (or something like that).

So who knew that would speak to me now?

I can't figure out what caused the change between then and now. I wasn't wearing a mask back then - I genuinely was just joyful in the Lord and how He was working in me and around me. I didn't fear being alone because Christ was with me. I felt honored to get to have a little personal experience different from everyone else's and that I knew the whole episode was just God drawing me towards Him a little more.

So I've spent some time talking with God about how I feel now. I admitted that I, for some reason, have not been able to believe that I could possibly be lovable with all my "issues," all the awful things I've done and ways I've hurt people recently, and just that I cry too much and think too much. And that if I were a different person I'd be more lovable. I repented for lying since I said just the night before that I believed all the things in the chapter we were discussing, Psalm 139.

Recently I asked Krista if not wearing a mask means I'll never be able to say that "I'm fine" again. And she said, well, yeah, we're always going to have trials and issues. Some good days and some bad days. That bummed me out a little.

But then what is it that knowing God so great? We have GRACE and HOPE in Him! On our bad days we have hope in a Savior who loves us, came for us, and is coming back for us. And we receive perfect grace for our sins from Him. Why am I so upset over the fact that I'm not perfect lately? I can't be. And that's where grace comes in, grace from God and grace from my friends who all know me and still love me. And I get to show grace to my friends too. How beautiful. Grace rocks. And I do still long to be sanctified, but I'd be blind if I said that God wasn't in that process.. He also reminded me this weekend of a little sticky note I had seen this summer that said something like "Receive Him today, trusting His leading me." In all situations I can trust He's leading me and making me more like Him. And wow, He only sees righteousness...that's crazy.

I guess we can never be told that truth enough?

So I've spent this weekend, besides working on a ton of homework (and I still have more! ugh!), trying to just enjoy myself, and enjoy God. I've spent a lot of time finding old dresses of mine and trying them on and looking at myself in them. None of them are very formal; most of them are Easter dresses, but they're still pretty. He has made me a pretty woman. One of the dresses I actually made my freshman year of high school in sewing class, and it actually still fits me. I hope no one thinks I'm vain by writing all of this. It really was just a fun discovery...I don't think I thought about how I was beautiful the last time I wore these. Now, I'm excited to take all these dresses back to Tucson and wait for an opportunity to wear them. Also, one I found was my Symphony Orch gown. It's black and long and super-fun...and super-perfect for being Elphaba for Halloween! I found an old green turtleneck to wear underneath it to make my body green too! I'm excited! Anyone want to be Glinda?

And then I watched my favorite scenes from Beauty and the Beast: The "Something's There" scene, the Transformation scene, and of course the ballroom scene. In the ballroom scene is my favorite moment of Beauty and the Beast: when Belle rests her head on the Beast's chest, and he looks down, then excitedly looks up with a huge grin at Lumiere and Cogsworth, and they cheer him on. And then I watched the special feature segment where my favorite Disney animator, Glen Keane, talks about the transformation scene and how 2 Corinthians 5:17 was his inspiration for animating, and how he loves the biblical idea of a beast turning into a prince. And for the first time in a long time, I'm no longer ashamed to have a favorite Disney animator or a favorite 5 second moment in a Disney movie. Maybe I enjoy animation more than the average adult. Maybe that's weird. Maybe that's okay.

Then came time for the entire reason why I came back; to go to a meeting at my old church, East Valley, about summer trips to Morocco. I must say I am very happy I went. The testimonies I heard did get me excited, for just...people and God's kingdom. My old discipleship leader, Donna, was there, and I got to chat with her and a few other people, mostly adults, who actually remembered me and loved me. Yes, I am different now from the average EVBC-er (I found out that yet another friend is getting ready to be hitched soon) but I am extremely grateful again for growing up there, and super impressed by how they are still passionate about making sure Christ is above all and gets all the glory, even with all they have to show off (it's a huge church, and they just finished building a fancy modern coffee house for its members to enjoy...for HIS glory! yum..) Quite honestly, before now I had kinda had the attitude that people weren't growing at EVBC anymore, because I've grown so much without them. Now I'm happy to say I was wrong.

Also I got to spend some time with my dad. He washed my car for me and found me an old witch hat and broom for my Elphaba costume. I offered to make dinner, but he said we could go to Quizno's. So we went, and he got to striking up a friendly conversation with the manager that entertained me a lot. And when he talked to me, he was SUPPORTIVE of me going to teach somewhere this summer..this is huge! Especially considering I've tried to avoid talking about it as much as possible to my parents! SERIOUSLY, WHAT A BLESSING! Pray that God will continue to soften their hearts!

And...I saw a shooting star, in Phoenix. One of my reasons for liking Tucson and not Phoenix is the stars. Lord, thank You for the shooting star.

I didn't expect to be met so much in such short time. I don't think this will mark an instant change in me where I'm gonna snap back into happy mode. But I think things are different. I feel more on my way to trusting God at a more deeper level. Trusting Him with my future and my past. And relying on His strength today.

I expect I'll be laughing soon.

Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me, and know my anxieties. And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. - Psalm 139:23-24

I can't run away

Liz and I are going to take an online 45-hour TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) Course to get a basic TEFL Certificate that can be used to get a good job overseas.

As we've watched teams come back from their overseas trips and share that experience with their teammates in Arizona, we feel a little like we've missed that. Liz was the only one from our region to go to Argentina last summer, and since my experience was still so different from Ryan and Mike's in Japan (because I'm a girl), we both feel like we'd like to go somewhere together so we can have each other to lean on when we get back.

We want to go to a place this summer different from where we could see ourselves going after college (I'm still thinking Japan, she's still thinking Argentina).

We want to be challenged...

But one thought that's plauged me that I don't think has bothered Liz much is that...I think one of the primary reasons I want to go is that I'm just so terrified of the idea of another summer stuck in Arizona. I don't want a repeat of last summer. I'll go ANYWHERE else... I want to run away.

The selfishness of this bothers me. And it's not that I hate Arizona. I enjoy it a lot and the ways God pursues me and others here. I love Tucson and the University and saying that I'm from this beautiful land of saguaros...

But I feel like...this summer just hurt me. And this whole semester I've been recovering. And in the Spring semester...I'll be recovering from the wounds of this semseter.

But my feelings aren't even true. Last summer, working and vacationing and such, isn't what hurt me; it's the fact that God's been digging out long-suppressed wounds that's made everything so hard. Wounds that make it so easy for others to hurt me, thus hurting my relationships so much. And I can't idolize my experience or perceptions of life in other countries...my Lord will do all in His power to prevent me from doing that. He's working on HEALING me.

I'm thankful that He's that way.

But it still hurts...

umm...

...

Well because I don't have much time to draw, people can know that when I do draw something, that it's on my mind a lot.. So considering I took the time to COLOR this too (which I haven't colored any drawing of mine since before high school graduation), it's pretty significant...

Recognize it? It's Eustace and Aslan. I wish Aslan looked cooler and stronger; I looked at a dragon picture for reference but not a lion. Oh well...

Anyways, for those who aren't familiar with the story, in the Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the character of Eustace is introduced. He's a cousin of the Pevinsies and he's a little brat. He's always complaining and think's he's a know it all and he never wanted to go to Narnia in the first place. When the crew stops on an island during their adventure, he runs off and ...gets himself turned into a dragon. Being a huge ugly dragon changes him; he's given a lot of grace from his friends, and he decides he doesn't want to be the way he was before, but he's still a dragon. And since he's so big and has to eat a lot, he can't get on the boat. No one wants to leave him on the island alone (which is more undeserved grace that he appreciates) but he feels bad for holding everyone back. He's truly sorry for what he's done..

So he goes off and tries to scratch all the scales off himself. It doesn't work, but he keeps on trying, because he doesn't want to be a dragon anymore. Then Aslan comes to him. He says He can remove his scales, so he lets Him, but it hurts! Aslan bites and claws and rips off his dragon flesh, and for a second Eustace thinks he'd rather go back to trying to scratch them off himself. But Aslan reminds him that it won't work. The Lion must do it, and it will hurt...but he'll be a boy again. So Eustace endures, and by the end of the night, Eustace is his old self again, except completely brand new from Aslan's work in him.

...I've been telling people that this is how I've felt. I asked God to remove the junk from me, but I didn't realize how many scales I really had. But if I try to get rid of them in a non-painful way it doesn't solve anything. The Lord's clawing hurts, but that's what'll lead me to know what Christ has changed me into: the new creation that's dying to live for Him. People can't see Christ in me with the scales, the masks, covering Him in me.

Ohh it's been HARD!

But I trust it'll be worth it. It will be...

Last week Krista read Hosea 2:14-23 with me again. My translation doesn't explain that the "Valley of Achor" means "Valley of Trouble," so she pointed that out to me in hers. "So, He'll make the Valley of Trouble into a door of Hope. Common, let God speak that comfort to you. Let Him say that truth to you, that out of all of this, you ARE gonna come out through that door of hope!"

I've thought about how much I feel like I've been the woman BEFORE verse 14, in the Valley of Trouble, who ran out and worshiped the Baals and had God strip her naked and slay her with thrist and all that junk...I can't forget that the woman from verse 14 on is that same woman, that everything the Lord ever does for her is filled with so much grace and love, all to bring her to greater, perfect intimacy with Him.

Going to Morocco, Egypt, Japan, Timbuktu, or Espresso Art isn't going to lead me closer to Him, nor will Tucson or Gilbert or anywhere else pull me away. Jesus is jealous for my heart and He won't stand anything else getting in the way. He'll fight to keep me His, and He'll heal me...

"'And it shall be, in that day,' says the Lord, 'That you will call Me "My Husband," and no longer call Me "My Master," for I will take from her mouth the names of the Baals, and they shall be remembered by their name no more.'"

Lord, thank You for not giving up on me.

I'll also list as quick as I can all the blessings of this semester:

Krista, my Junior Bible Study, my Freshman Bible Study, the Nav Junior class, Jennifer Smith, Stacy, Bryce Bouchard and his family and example, my hall, my SIJ team, and my CESL job.

I'd love to write more about the love and grace and lessons I've gotten from each. But I hope everyone can understand how hard it's been for me to write anything (this is the 4th attempted real post since school started). I'll try to give more little posts more often from now on.

So pray for HIS LEADING for me, for this semester, next semester, next summer, and the rest of my life...thank you.

We're blessed

Most of you have heard about all the recent tradgedies around here. If not, check out my friend's blogs. I'll write more about them when I have more time.

So for now...I hope this is uplifting!

My real-dad sent me this. My only disclaimer is that I do believe that God blesses other countries in pretty cool ways too, even if the people don't believe in Him or acknowledge Him. And that God's goodness is not dependent on how "good" we have it here.

"I don't know (and don't care) if Jay Leno actually wrote this. It's
agood read anyway...
------------------------------------------------------------
If you're not a Jay Leno fan read what he wrote anyway. My respect
andesteem for him has really increased.

"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some
polldata I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the
source,right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy withthe
direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country isunhappy with the
performance of the president. In essence 2/3's of thecitizenry just ain't happy
and want a change.

So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What we are
sounhappy about?'' Is it that we have electricity and running water 24hours a
day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having airconditioning in
the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that95.4 percent of these
unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the abilityto walk into a grocery store at
any time and see more food in momentsthan Darfur has seen in the last
year?

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the
AtlanticOcean without having to present identification papers as we move
througheach state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we
wouldfind along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess
havingthousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world isjust
not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car,emergency workers
show up and provide services to help all and even senda helicopter to take you
to the hospital.

Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. Youmay
be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, agroup of trained
firefighters will appear in moments and use top notchequipment to extinguish the
flames thus saving you, your family and yourbelongings. Or if, while at home
watching one of your many flat screenTVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes , an
officer equipped with a gun anda bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and
your family againstattack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood
free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging theresidents. Neighborhoods where
90 percent of teenagers own cell phonesand computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we
enjoythat are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has
67percent of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the worldhas
ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a greatdisdain for its
citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessedpeople in the world who
do nothing but complain about what we don'thave, and what we hate about the
country instead of thanking the goodLord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has
noplan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approvalrating?
Is this the same president who guided the nation in the darkdays after 9/11? The
president that cut taxes to bring an economy out ofrecession? Could this be the
same guy who has been called every name inthe book for succeeding in keeping all
the spoiled ungrateful brats safefrom terrorist attacks?

The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out theredefending
you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the newsor talk show? Did
this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy youcouldn't take a look around
for yourself and see all the good things andbe glad?

Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually
caused you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told youhe was failing to
kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan
havevolunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your
freedom.

There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go.They
are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general''discharge, an
''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst casescenario, a ''dishonorable''
discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent
ofAmericans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleedsit leads
and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a carcrash with blood and
guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade atthe corner? The media knows
this and media outlets are for-profitcorporations. They offer what sells, and
when criticized, try to defendtheir actions by "justifying" them in one way or
another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpsonto write a
book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did hewould have done it this
way......Insane!

Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut offthe
TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of yourbird cage.
Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. Thereis exponentially
more good than bad.

We are among the most blessed peoples on Earth and should thank Godseveral
times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative."

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides,
flooding,severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another,
andwith the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this isa good
time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
Jay Leno
------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. 86.4 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Please pray that I could effectively convey to my freshman girls how God for reasons way bigger than what Jay Leno has to say.

no computer!!?!?

I've been without a computer before. I've lived by using Jump drives and the library and other people's computers. And done well...

But since my computer's been gone in the shop for a few weeks and will still be in Phoenix when it's done, it's been my hardest time without a computer ever. (I'm getting my fan repaired, for all of you who have seen me use my little $10 Target fan behind my laptop to keep it from overheating for the past 8 months.)

It's been so hard because all I want to do is talk to people who are in different countries but either don't have the time or the software (or the permission to download the software)...

I still don't have my puter back. But I'm on Erin's laptop now*. And she gave me permission to download messenger. So maybe life can go on again...

But not having a computer is also my excuse for not blogging in forever. So if I had had a computer and more time, this is what I would have blogged about:

I have more to say about the John Williams trip and how it was revisiting some things of my past...

I went to San Fransisco with my family and it was fun (no pictures yet)

I got to talk a lot with my family and it was really good

I got a tire blowout on the I-10 and it was awesome and my family rocked

I love my old summer roommates Alicia, Angela, and Sarah and I was really blessed to live with them

I love my new summer roommates Erin and Emily and I definitely feel blessed to live here now for the next few weeks
*hence I'm using Erin's laptop now

CESL has been both awesome and really difficult, as always, since I got back from vacation

I love Starbucks and being a barista

I'm averaging about 50 hours a week between both jobs now

I've decided I need to quit Starbucks because of school and that sucks

I love Katie Sheerer

I love Joanna Shuchbach

I love Mike and Christine Jolly's blogs. They just got married

Ariel told me that my friends Mizuki, Taro, and Hyun went to Tokyo BEST club and it made me scream with happiness. Now all my BEST club friends may get to know them**
**I am really excited about this if you couldn't tell

2 Corinthians 12:9...again

Today is the anniversary of John Lee's death

And God is so amazingly good

Yup...my life is so exciting

:)

Celebrating the Genius!

So I met John Williams! And had an all-round wonderful trip to Hollywood with my sister and some friends! Here are the highlights!

How do you meet John Williams? Go to the morning rehersals! It was a great pre-performance and a a beautiful day at the Hollywood Bowl.

There he is! With all of us and our autographed stuff! We met the great film score composer! (Stacy, me, Christa, Eric, John Williams, Brian, Matt, and Franklin, with Nick taking the picture, in case you were wondering...)

Us in front of the Hollywood Bowl (Nick's there on the right)

On Hollywood Blvd...

The Chinese Theatre

El Capitan Theatre

Kodak Theatre

Then we went to the Warner Bros. Studios and took their tour. We were not allowed to take pictures of probably the best part of the tour, which was a walk through their museum, which had a whole room dedicated to Harry Potter stuff! We got to see so many of the original costumes and props! But you'll have to take our word for it...

We could take pictures of...

The set of Central Perk from Friends! Thanks to my summer roommates, I could know and appreciate this awesome set! Thank you girls!

Prop rooms (Stuff from Pirates and Miss Congeniality)

A replica of Sam's Piano from Casablanca!!!

The ally-way set where Spider-man and Mary Jane do their famous kiss!! (it got me excited!)

The set of ER!

"Chicago's Finest" (gotta give Stacy the credit for naming this picture!)

Me caught doing a Masashi face...

We love the Looney Tunes (...really I do)

The Warner Bros. Tower! Where Yakko, Wakko, and Dot live!

This reminds me of something, which is going to lead me to a rant. The WB studio gift shop had a Starbucks in it. I was reminded of it because their chalkboard advertising their promotional drink had a really cute drawing of the Animaniacs with a Rasberry Mocha and big letters saying "Hellooooooo Rasberry Mooooocha!" and I really wanted to take a picture but everyone was waiting on me and I had to run :( which reminds me of the most annoying part of the whole trip. We seemed to be unable to find any Starbucks that were actually Starbucks...I couldn't use my Partner discount anywhere because everyone was really an employee of the WB or Universal or whatever, so it was cool for them but not for me...and they did NOT give legendary service. They refused to give Eric a Venti iced water, and gave him a tall (when Grande is standard if someone asks for water at my store and a Venti is no problem!) and they didn't shake my Iced Grande Unsweetened Shaken Iced Green Tea and I was very upset! And this is all to say that I'm officially a Barista Brat! Anyways...

Our attempt to get a picture of the Disney Animation Studio from the road

goofing off before the concert...

After the great performance, I met of with Jane and Joni on Hollywood Blvd! We went to this little 24-hour donut/Chinese food/breakfast sandwiches restaurant. It was great to see them! And I felt very honored that they drove out to see me, even when Joni was preparing to leave for Japan the next day!! (hope you're having an awesome time!)
::restaurant employee::(to Joni) Wow, you're buzzed tonight! (said because she was laughing so much. Of course that didn't help her stop acting so "buzzed"... )

Next day, we went to Universal Studios.

Brian's favorite movie is Jurassic Park.

"Maybe we'll park in 'Jurassic Park-ING'!?!"

Nope. We got Curious George :(

On the Studio Tour...

Vans from The Lost World

A set from King Kong. It's actually really small

Because of their movie Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift, they had a lot of Japanese stuff lying around everywhere. This looks like an awful movie...but I got excited by the authentic jidouhanbaiki (vending machines). Too bad they didn't work.

Brian gets a close encounter with Jaws

Sets from Desperate Housewives! I've never watched this show, but the houses were beautiful!

The set of Whoville

Right behind it was the Bate's Motel
The final set we drove through was from War of the Worlds. They destroyed a real airplane. Very Impressive!
At the Special effects show, our party participated much. Here Eric rolls the crash box.
And Christa battles a huge cat!

In front of Shrek 4-D

Donkey talks! I guess that's the point. But I was impressed. Do they have an Eddie Murphy impersonator down there, or do they use those voice changer things that are in spy movies that I don't believe really exist yet?

Our final night we went to the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner :)

And that was our trip. I have more thoughts but I'm tired and, more urgently, when I'm home in Gilbert Stacy and I have to share the computer and she's been waiting. Maybe I'll write more later. Anyways it was fun and I hope everyone enjoyed the pictures!

Samwise

Recently, Sam Nguyen posted his old newsletter from when he finished up Nav EDGE corps on his blog. On it is listed all of the lessons he learned while he was serving at U of A for 2 years.

I actually got discouraged when I first read it. Some things on there, I instantly thought "I wish I had known this before, even yesterday." Some things I still don't believe or understand. Some things I understand, but don't know how to apply to my life, or if I am capable of applying them. Some things I've heard all my life, but still don't have a hold of. I was frustrated that so much of it just didn't describe me or my attitudes.

But I know that wasn't Sam's intention.

I had a recent conversation with my friend, over which the idea of being content with how wise or mature we were at the moment came up. We talked about how we should always be seeking wisdom, and be desiring to grow deeper in our knowledge and understanding of Christ, but at the same time, be able to have a peace about where God has us at the time, not being envious of wiser people, and trusting that God will grow us the way He wants to, if we are willing to learn from Him.

Of course Sam would have some smart things to say! He is older than me, has seen and experienced more, has known God longer, has prayed more, has gone through 2 years of sweet college ministry, and has learned even more since then. Other people I know would have other wise things to say that I could learn from, if they would take the time to share them, and I be willing to listen.

I have hope that God is working to make me a wise woman. What that will look like, I can't know. I know the set of lessons I will learn will look different for me than they do for Sam, or for anyone else. Because even though God is the same God for everyone, yesterday, today, and forever...His work in each person is personal and unique. And I can still learn from Samwise, and be glad I have the opportunity to do so.

As Krista's dad put it, "God loves you perfectly exactly as you are, but loves you enough to not let you stay the way you are." I can trust this is true.

On a lighter note, as I am now learning wisdom, I am also preparing for my upcoming adventure to "Celebrate the Genius of John Williams" in LA with my sister Stacy and Jedi Master Brian Goegan! Next week, I will meet John Williams at the morning rehersal! This trip is gonna be quite fun! I hope my Celebrate t-shirt ships in time! :D I am also taking a vacation to San Francisco with my whole family soon after!

Also, the Indonesia team left today. What an adventure they are going to have! You can read about it here at the Tour Guide's website. They are going to do the Ethno-Tour. It sounds so amazing! I really can't wait to hear about how God blesses their trip!

And Krista's coming back from Zambia soon! I'll still be gone when she gets here, but I am excited for when I do get to see her again.

This has been quite the summer so far.

Goodbye Taro

Arizona misses you.I miss you. But I bet Japan missed you too. We couldn't keep you here forever. But it was an awesome time.
Thanks for being awesome.

Remember it's only goodbye for now. Remember that you're always gonna have your Arizona friends :)

I'm praying for you, friend :) Enjoy life in Japan again. And PLEASE say hi to Taka and Mizuki for me! Or any other nihonjin I know that you may come across. いいな～！you get to see them again!

I will see you all again someday.

またね!

Eph. 3:20-21

Life and pictures

I just had a fun weekend! It was crazy but all good! Thursday evening I drove down to Phoenix to be with my family (I'm trying to do this as much as possible this summer.) That was sweet, then I drove back Friday to work at Starbucks Saturday morning. As soon as I was off I hopped back into a car to go with Taro, Ku-Heyoung, Cameron, and Satoru to see a Diamondbacks game, back in Phoenix...then came back the same night to get a good night's rest for church in Mexico the next day! I was pretty exhausted today, but it was worth it!

This summer is getting better. I've gotten sweet times with God and lots of other people, and I'm finally starting to be really thankful for it.

A big thing I've been struggling with lately is worrying about what people think of me, and a fear that no one can comprehend me at all. Well, first I'm learning to not be so concerned with pleasing others. Another thing is that that I've realized, one reason why people might understand me is because I tend to either be too vauge, or give so much information that it overwhelms people. So here's me trying to be both complete and short, followed by pictures from my life from a few months ago until now that I've been planning on posting forever now...

First, back on worrying about what people think of me, I'll be blunt and say the biggest thing has been what people think in regards of how I talk about Japan, and other countries, and what am I displaying for other people, and what I really am, and if I am okay with what I really am. And I have been for a long time now accusing pretty much everyone I know of labeling me quickly as a "Japan freak" and getting really upset about that. Some people know how this past semester I would get upset if someone brought up Japan with me, and I would want to change the subject, in some sort of effort to stop people from automatically associating me with Japan. Yet I couldn't hide the fact that living in Japan last summer had been great, that I do plan on going back, that I have lots of Japanese friends who I love and get really genuinely excited about, that even my part time jobs express a love for Japan and other countries (even applying to Starbucks had a little international motive...)

So this was troubling for many reasons, partly because, as a good friend helped me realize, I really did consider the way I love Japan as "freaky," and consequently, unattractive to everyone. Secondly, with my sad history of worshipping many idols throughout my years, this thought bugged me: is Japan an idol in my life? Do I love Japan more than God?

Guess what? Whenever I asked God this, the answer would be...NO! Duh! I don't! How could I love Japan more than God? Japan cannot make me happy. In fact Japan makes me sad, a lot. Wheras Jesus is the Savior of my life, my refuge, my hope, my husband, my daddy, my all and all, my subete no subete. Yes, it seems like Japan might control my educational and career motives, the friends I have, the part time jobs I take, but that really all does come from a greater motive, that comes from my relationship with God, and loving Him, and loving His heart for Japan, because He showed it to me a little bit last summer and I loved it; He loves Japan more than I do. But if He asked me to do anything else, to send me anywhere else on this planet, from Asia to Europe to Africa and the Americas, from Salt Lake City to New York to LA to back to little 'ol Phoenix and Tucson, I'll go. My fist is open on Japan; if other people say they see my heart is in Japan, I don't have to interpret that their observations mean my fist is closed because it's not! And it really never has been! I have held onto other things in the past, that God had to pry my hand open to get rid of, but not this. Praise God for His work in me! It's by His grace I can say that, and know that going anywhere on this earth is not going to satisfy me or make me feel at home. My home is in Heaven. This hope drives what I do.

Still this summer I got really upset with what others thought of me and Japan. And from this I've learned: one, a lot of people don't only equate me only with Japan, and affirm me in my walk with the Lord, and I can rejoice in their understanding and company. Two, a lot of people do wrongfully equate me exclusively with Japan, and that I can be okay with this, because their opinions don't change lesson three, which is that Jesus holds my heart, and though I make mistakes, I can still know Him intimately, and by His grace, He wants to know me intimately, and this is what excites me more than anything else! Four, people's opinions shouldn't matter so much to me. And five, because of lesson three and four, it is still ok to love Japan so much, even if it might be a little "freaky"...those who love me enjoy that part of me! And hey, I enjoy it too!

But that's what's been hard about this summer. I still don't have everything down fully, but I've come a long way. Totally by His grace...His grace has definitely been in abundance.

Maybe that was overwhelming amounts of information again? Oh well. (btw, this is why I'm not a creative writing major!)

Here are some fun pictures from the end-of-the-school-year time to present.

Switchfoot/Copeland concert...I went with a great group! As mentioned before, I got to meet the members of Copeland!
I look so happy in this picure! (hence the profile pic change!)
I love Switchfoot so much! Such a great show!
these two below are from when Jon Foreman walked out into the audience to sing "The Shadow Proves the Sunshine" leaving behind a trail of lights...you know a singer loves his fans when he does that...

At the end of the year party, we were supposed to dress up as something from my elementary school days. I went as Daffy Duck! Can you tell? Very few at the party could!

Before Taka, Mizuki, and Hyung went back to their countries, we spent a day taking final group photographs to forever remember this amazing school year together. (Hyung's coming back)

Taka was the first to say goodbye! We bid farewell at the airport. I got to spend a little more time with Mizuki. We drove up Mt. Lemmon on our last day together.

I miss you guys a ton!!

My sister graduated from good 'ol Highland High this year, and is coming to U of A this fall through a dad-gum-amazing Fine Arts scholarship. Very exciting! I'm really stoked just to be blessed by her awesomeness again in Tucson!

Also here is one of her beautiful senior pics...wearing an old jacket of mine in true little sister style! :) I love you and am so proud of you!

Here's a small sampling of Joni's pictures from when she, Jerry, and Cole came down to visit! It was a blast and a much needed visit! All pics are curtousy of Joni's DIGITAL CAMERA!

Then this weekend, we finally made it to a baseball game! It was a great exciting game and great time with friends.

Taro is going back to Japan at the end of this week. I will miss you greatly, friend. But I am excited for whatever awaits you on your return.

Finally, Mexico yesterday. I didn't take any pictures, so these are from spring break.

It was good to see Danny again. He's been serving the church while learning Spanish and chilling with pastor Juan Carlos and Nav groups that have come to help out. He translated the sermon for Sarah and I, and did an awesome job!

The church has changed a lot since we were there. The scary bridge is now gone, and the whole top of the building is built up now! Sweet!

We also went and ate at the restaurant I got left at...jokes of making sure I was still with everyone were plentiful :D Which leads to one last cool thing...

During spring break, after I was reunited with the group at the soccer field, I went up to the bleachers to watch everyone since, having been left at the restaurant, I hadn't had the chance to change out of my skirt. When I was up there, a group of fun little Mexican kids came up to me.

We tried communicating the best we could, but obviously not much could be said (I remember some "I love you"'s! haha!) Anyways they were so much fun and I remember praying that God would reach out to these kids.

And 2 of them were definitely at the church on Sunday!!

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!" Phil. 4:4