Life and pictures

I just had a fun weekend! It was crazy but all good! Thursday evening I drove down to Phoenix to be with my family (I'm trying to do this as much as possible this summer.) That was sweet, then I drove back Friday to work at Starbucks Saturday morning. As soon as I was off I hopped back into a car to go with Taro, Ku-Heyoung, Cameron, and Satoru to see a Diamondbacks game, back in Phoenix...then came back the same night to get a good night's rest for church in Mexico the next day! I was pretty exhausted today, but it was worth it!

This summer is getting better. I've gotten sweet times with God and lots of other people, and I'm finally starting to be really thankful for it.

A big thing I've been struggling with lately is worrying about what people think of me, and a fear that no one can comprehend me at all. Well, first I'm learning to not be so concerned with pleasing others. Another thing is that that I've realized, one reason why people might understand me is because I tend to either be too vauge, or give so much information that it overwhelms people. So here's me trying to be both complete and short, followed by pictures from my life from a few months ago until now that I've been planning on posting forever now...

First, back on worrying about what people think of me, I'll be blunt and say the biggest thing has been what people think in regards of how I talk about Japan, and other countries, and what am I displaying for other people, and what I really am, and if I am okay with what I really am. And I have been for a long time now accusing pretty much everyone I know of labeling me quickly as a "Japan freak" and getting really upset about that. Some people know how this past semester I would get upset if someone brought up Japan with me, and I would want to change the subject, in some sort of effort to stop people from automatically associating me with Japan. Yet I couldn't hide the fact that living in Japan last summer had been great, that I do plan on going back, that I have lots of Japanese friends who I love and get really genuinely excited about, that even my part time jobs express a love for Japan and other countries (even applying to Starbucks had a little international motive...)

So this was troubling for many reasons, partly because, as a good friend helped me realize, I really did consider the way I love Japan as "freaky," and consequently, unattractive to everyone. Secondly, with my sad history of worshipping many idols throughout my years, this thought bugged me: is Japan an idol in my life? Do I love Japan more than God?

Guess what? Whenever I asked God this, the answer would be...NO! Duh! I don't! How could I love Japan more than God? Japan cannot make me happy. In fact Japan makes me sad, a lot. Wheras Jesus is the Savior of my life, my refuge, my hope, my husband, my daddy, my all and all, my subete no subete. Yes, it seems like Japan might control my educational and career motives, the friends I have, the part time jobs I take, but that really all does come from a greater motive, that comes from my relationship with God, and loving Him, and loving His heart for Japan, because He showed it to me a little bit last summer and I loved it; He loves Japan more than I do. But if He asked me to do anything else, to send me anywhere else on this planet, from Asia to Europe to Africa and the Americas, from Salt Lake City to New York to LA to back to little 'ol Phoenix and Tucson, I'll go. My fist is open on Japan; if other people say they see my heart is in Japan, I don't have to interpret that their observations mean my fist is closed because it's not! And it really never has been! I have held onto other things in the past, that God had to pry my hand open to get rid of, but not this. Praise God for His work in me! It's by His grace I can say that, and know that going anywhere on this earth is not going to satisfy me or make me feel at home. My home is in Heaven. This hope drives what I do.

Still this summer I got really upset with what others thought of me and Japan. And from this I've learned: one, a lot of people don't only equate me only with Japan, and affirm me in my walk with the Lord, and I can rejoice in their understanding and company. Two, a lot of people do wrongfully equate me exclusively with Japan, and that I can be okay with this, because their opinions don't change lesson three, which is that Jesus holds my heart, and though I make mistakes, I can still know Him intimately, and by His grace, He wants to know me intimately, and this is what excites me more than anything else! Four, people's opinions shouldn't matter so much to me. And five, because of lesson three and four, it is still ok to love Japan so much, even if it might be a little "freaky"...those who love me enjoy that part of me! And hey, I enjoy it too!

But that's what's been hard about this summer. I still don't have everything down fully, but I've come a long way. Totally by His grace...His grace has definitely been in abundance.

Maybe that was overwhelming amounts of information again? Oh well. (btw, this is why I'm not a creative writing major!)

Here are some fun pictures from the end-of-the-school-year time to present.

Switchfoot/Copeland concert...I went with a great group! As mentioned before, I got to meet the members of Copeland!
I look so happy in this picure! (hence the profile pic change!)
I love Switchfoot so much! Such a great show!
these two below are from when Jon Foreman walked out into the audience to sing "The Shadow Proves the Sunshine" leaving behind a trail of lights...you know a singer loves his fans when he does that...

At the end of the year party, we were supposed to dress up as something from my elementary school days. I went as Daffy Duck! Can you tell? Very few at the party could!

Before Taka, Mizuki, and Hyung went back to their countries, we spent a day taking final group photographs to forever remember this amazing school year together. (Hyung's coming back)

Taka was the first to say goodbye! We bid farewell at the airport. I got to spend a little more time with Mizuki. We drove up Mt. Lemmon on our last day together.

I miss you guys a ton!!

My sister graduated from good 'ol Highland High this year, and is coming to U of A this fall through a dad-gum-amazing Fine Arts scholarship. Very exciting! I'm really stoked just to be blessed by her awesomeness again in Tucson!

Also here is one of her beautiful senior pics...wearing an old jacket of mine in true little sister style! :) I love you and am so proud of you!

Here's a small sampling of Joni's pictures from when she, Jerry, and Cole came down to visit! It was a blast and a much needed visit! All pics are curtousy of Joni's DIGITAL CAMERA!

Then this weekend, we finally made it to a baseball game! It was a great exciting game and great time with friends.

Taro is going back to Japan at the end of this week. I will miss you greatly, friend. But I am excited for whatever awaits you on your return.

Finally, Mexico yesterday. I didn't take any pictures, so these are from spring break.

It was good to see Danny again. He's been serving the church while learning Spanish and chilling with pastor Juan Carlos and Nav groups that have come to help out. He translated the sermon for Sarah and I, and did an awesome job!

The church has changed a lot since we were there. The scary bridge is now gone, and the whole top of the building is built up now! Sweet!

We also went and ate at the restaurant I got left at...jokes of making sure I was still with everyone were plentiful :D Which leads to one last cool thing...

During spring break, after I was reunited with the group at the soccer field, I went up to the bleachers to watch everyone since, having been left at the restaurant, I hadn't had the chance to change out of my skirt. When I was up there, a group of fun little Mexican kids came up to me.

We tried communicating the best we could, but obviously not much could be said (I remember some "I love you"'s! haha!) Anyways they were so much fun and I remember praying that God would reach out to these kids.

And 2 of them were definitely at the church on Sunday!!

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!" Phil. 4:4