We have waited for Him

I've tried to post. I really have. I never finish. So I'm not gonna try to put up a lot of pictures and such and instead just talk about some recent cool things. Just trust me that Halloween and the Mexico trip was a lot of fun ;)

Well, Thanksgiving was really good. I really enjoyed kicking back, even though I still had a lot of work to do. But I basically just hung out with my family the whole time, and it was good.

I'm very thankful for this year, despite the season of despair and hurt and so many plain tragic things happening around me. I know it's cliche, but I can really see how God was so at work and pursuing me and loving me throughout. And I love Him for it.

A huge lesson God has been teaching me for years is His sovereignty, and how I can trust in the Lord for everything in my life. One of the coolest ways I've seen this is through prayer, which has been on my heart and mind more since we started praying together in the student union recently, and very much so this week, since my junior Bible study is looking at what Jesus says about prayer.

One thing that's pretty amazing to me is the "ask and you'll receive" factor. He says in Mark 11:24 "whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." That if I did not doubt it, I could move mountains to the sea through prayer. That when we're interceeding for our friends, family, our campus, and the world up on the 4th floor of the union, we should pray with expectation that these things will come true. I've seen God answer so many prayers, often very specifically and explicitly, yet I still wrestle with this. So I've found myself having to pray, as the possessed boy's father did, "Lord I believe; help my unbelief!" Because sometimes what we ask for seems like too much, or I'll fall into praying and asking things while forgetting that I'm actually asking the holy soveriegn God to change something about this world, and that it shouldn't be taken lightly!

The other thing is how this is coupled with what God's will is. While I was in Japan, I started reading Joanna's copy of C.S. Lewis' Letters to Malcom: Chiefly on Prayer. I didn't ever finish it after I moved out of JoMeAppa, but one thing that I still remember and dwell on is how Lewis and Malcom chewed on Jesus' prayer in the garden: "Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will." (Mark 14:36). I remember them talking about the conflict of how God always answers prayer, yet He obviously didn't answer His Son's prayer here. And then they discussed how exactly "not what I will, but what You will" works as a qualifier...and if having a qualifier is like, cheating, because then your prayers are always answered...etc. I forget exactly how they concluded that discussion; I maybe never even got to the end of that chapter...

but basically, everyone's pretty happy that God didn't answer Jesus' prayer, and that God's will prevailed. God's will was better. That's pretty obvious. We're all thankful for that. And we should get into the habit of praying for God's will over ours.

This no less diminishes prayer's power to move mountains. All things are possible, and we are told to "be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:6-7) I've always been interested in how, although God answers our prayers, here it doesn't say "make your requests known, and they'll be given..." like Christ says. We'll have the peace of God...this can be peace knowing and truly believing that what we request for will come. Or peace that whatever happens, God's will will come. Either way, peace comes from making your requests known, not from being too scared or too unbelieving to give them to Him.

I thought about all of this while on the I-10 today, driving back to Tucson. I looked at all of the mountains and thought about moving them, about smashing Picacho Peak into the ostrich farm, and other things. I thought about the ways it could happen (and stuff like, how, in Macbeth, the prophesy of the forests moving was fulfilled by people chopping down all the trees and carrying them off, and stuff...) It actually isn't very hard to believe it could happen when you really think about it.

Then I thought about all of my other "mountains," of which I have a much harder time believing that they can be "moved." So I thought I'd try praying for them, and praying ultimately for God's will. And, well, God's will is one of those big eternal questions, huh? How do we know what God's will is? Well, one recipe of knowing is in Rom. 12:1-2: Offer your bodies as living sacrifices...don't conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good, pleasing, and perfect will... Offer your body as a living sacrifice. Offer yourself. Give it all up. Trust Him with it. Trust Him with your body, your life...which involves sharing what your desires actually are, trusting them with Him, and asking for them to become God's desires. Well, okay.

To wrap up my story, I guess just, for the rest of the day, it was really cool observing God's good, pleasing, and perfect will happen, and His soveriegnty, in just little things, and reflecting again on what He has already done, and so what He will do. I asked for many things today, and I'm ashamed to say it was a surprise, but I also got to see them come today. Some didn't happen the way I planned, but I still recognized it as what it was: an answer to my prayer, and I was amazed at my joy and peace...! I don't know how to express this really; I already failed at expressing it to people, and this blog post is a failure too! But whatever, this is what happened today! And as I look back, these kinds of things have been the exciting story of my life! Even in the dark times, even when my mountain was just believing that sun would shine again. It did.

hmm, this post was really spiritual and "happy"... I feel like it still just doesn't express... I know things aren't always gonna seem awesome. I know this. I've experienced this. And it's obvious when I look around. I don't want to downplay the tears I've shed this weekend, this semester, this life, nor the tears of others - the many tears of others, and unsaid sorrow. But I don't think sorrow's existance needs to, as some wrongfully claim it should, take away from the joy of this reality: Jesus is the Son of the one true God and we have hope in Him! This is our God!

"He will swallow up death forever, and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; for the LORD has spoken. And it will be said in that day: 'Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, and He will save us. This is the LORD; We have waited for Him; We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation(!)'...You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, For in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength." Is 25:8-9, 26:3-4