I Sing the Mighty Power of God

hello :)

Once before I had a new years resolution that I wouldn't blog anymore, and that didn't happen.

Now I want to revive my blog :P  I've been so lazy...

most of the time I just want to post songs anyways.  I've really loved this old hymn recently.  Team Strike Force put a new melody to it and other Mars Hill bands put their spin on it.  The one by Sackcloth and Ashes is my favorite (free download).

I sing the mighty power of God

that made the mountains rise

that spread the flowing seas abroad

and built the lofty skies.

I sing the wisdom that ordained

the sun to rule the day.

The moon shines full at God's command,

and all the stars obey.

I sing the goodness of the Lord

who filled the earth with food,

who formed the creatures through the word

and then pronounced them good.

Lord, how thy wonders are displayed

wherever I turn my eye

If I survey the ground I tread

or gaze upon the sky.

There's not a plant or flower below

but makes thy glories known,

and clouds arise and tempest blow

by order from Thy throne,

while all that borrows life from Thee

is ever in Thy care,

and everywhere that we can be,

God art present there.

Oh kings of earth and everything

that lives now with us sing,

and let your glory reign

on every mountain crest.

Creation has confessed

that You have given breath

from heaven to the depths.

!!!!

:D

let it all out

Everyone's waiting for me to write something about Turkey.  I've been here for 10 days, isn't it about time?

Turkey's been fun.  I'm liking it and there's actually been a ton of encouraging stuff.  I've made friends.  I'm going to visit Istanbul this weekend and Capadoccia not long afterward.

But my mind and spirit have been focused on things at home.

Don't know why God wants me to be dealing with this stuff now and not before I landed here, but I guess that's probably my fault too, but He can't wait any longer.  Oh Lord, help me love.

Ok I'm being really vague but if you know what I'm talking about: forgive me please.  And please understand that I'm trying.  And trying to stop trying.

meh...anyone remember Relient K?  I don't really like their style anymore but I sometimes wonder if my former obsession with them is the reason why I'm such a basket case sometimes.

Anyway, here's "Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet?" and "Let It All Out"

I think you know what I'm getting at

I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select 

you keep the bad but the good you just forget

and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened

And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for naught

No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far

Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault

I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that

No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far

and wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)

No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far

what happened to us
i heard that it's me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't...

Let it all out
get it all out
rip it out remove it
don't be alarmed
when the wound begins to bleed

cause we're so scared to find out
what this life's all about
so scared we're going to lose it
not knowing all along
that's exactly what we need

and today I will trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
but tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief

oh, inconsistent me
crying out for consistency

and You said "I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
the end will justify the pain it took to get us there"

and I'll let it be known
at times I have shown
signs of all my weakness
but somewhere in me
there is strength

and you promise me
that you believe
in time I will defeat this
cause somewhere in me
there is strength

and today I will trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
and I'll try my best to just forget
that that Man isn't me

and You said "I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
the end will justify the pain it took to get us there"

reach out to me
make my heart brand new
every beat will be for you
for You

and I know you know
you touched my life
when you touched my heavy heart and made it light

"Take full possession."

Here's another quote from AC's If that I've chewed on for a couple of weeks:

No vision of the night can show, no word declare, with what longings of love Divine Love waits till the heart, all weary and sick of itself, turns to its Lord and says, "Take full possession."  There is no need to plead that the love of God shall fill our heart as though He were unwilling to fill us: He is willing as light is willing to flood a room that is opened to its brightness; willing as water is willing to flow into an emptied channel.   Love is pressing around us on all sides like air.  Cease to resist, and instantly love takes possession.  As the 15th century poem Quia amore langues says,

Long and love thou never so high,

My love is more than thine may be.

More, far more.  For as His abundance of pardon passes our power to tell it, so does His abundance of love: it is far as the east is from the west, high as the heaven is above the earth.  But words fail.  Love soars above them all.

To look at ourselves leads to despair.  Thank God, the Blood cleanseth.

If thou be foul, I shall make thee clean,

If thou be sick, I shall thee heal.

Foundest thou ever love so leal*?

Never, Lord, never.

*leal: loyal, faithful, honest, true

For some reason it took this to make me realize just what it means to ask for God to "take full possession."  Yes, I've asked for God to take control of my life, consciously, but not realizing the magnitude of its implications.  Take, for example, that my iPod is in a season right now in which nearly every day, I sing along with some artist singing "Come Thou Fount."  That means nearly every day, often multiple times a day, I pray "Let Thy grace now, like a fetter bind my wandering heart to Thee...  Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above."  

Have I thought enough about how, along with asking for fantastic things such as to know songs of angels and acknowledging Christ as the giver of every blessing and the one who has and is and will guide me, I am asking God to have my heart - my life.  Then how I can live my life every day as if it is still my own, as if, perhaps I did offer my life to Him, but then figured He did not really want it!  When it is exactly what He wants from me!

And if I really give up myself, submitting to Him, then God really will have no reservations in completely drowning me His love.  We can wonder what God's will for our lives may be for the unknown future, important decisions in relationships and jobs, but although we may not know the specific answers to these questions, we must first remember this: for certain, God's will for us is to be submitted to Him.  He alone deserves it.  Romans 12:1-2 "Therefore I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices; this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not conform any longer to the the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve God's will, His good, pleasing, and perfect will."  And what joy would follow in knowing Him and His love when we have fully given our lives to Him, and see Him lay out His good plan for our lives?  

What have I missed because I never before gave a request for His control with a serious thought?  What have I missed because of idols that I may not even realize I look to or how strongly I clutch them in my hand; "Take full possession...except this."...

Then praise Him also for His mercy, in that even when we offer our hearts, without putting our whole heart into it, He still hears our prayers and is more than willing to take them, in spite of us!  All the people like me who pray every day or sing in church every week and half-heartedly offer their lives, Jesus loves so much to still grant our requests and continue to grow us, make us a work in progress and take care of us, until we are finally of His image.  Not that all who pray earnestly to any god are saved; Jesus is still the way, the truth, and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through Him.  But God still hears their prayer, and did offer His Son that all who receive Him and believe in His name would be given the right to be called children of God.  We, then, can pray as well that those who are not in the Kingdom but pray to know God would really come to know Him and Christ as their Savior, and so enter.  God is willing (see 1 Timothy 2:1-7).

And even after all this discussion, I suspect I still don't really fathom what requesting that the Lord "take full possession" of me will mean.  Who knows what it could cost me or where it could take me.  I do know that following Jesus isn't easy, and that He said Himself many times it would be difficult.

But what would I gain?

Am I not yet "weary and sick of" myself?

...hereitgoes...

How can I keep from singing?

I like both of these...

My life flows on in endless song:
Above earth's lamentation,
I catch the sweet, tho' far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear the music ringing;
It finds an echo in my soul--
How can I keep from singing?

What tho' my joys and comfort die?
The Lord my Saviour liveth;
What tho' the darkness gather round?
Songs in the night he giveth.
No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that refuge clinging;
Since Christ is Lord of heaven and earth,
How can I keep from singing?

I lift my eyes; the cloud grows thin;
I see the blue above it;
And day by day this pathway smooths,
Since first I learned to love it.
The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,
A fountain ever springing;
All things are mine since I am his--
How can I keep from singing?

And the new one:

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

other things I've wanted to blog about

some more random stuff and links in no real order:

• My tribute to Michael Jackson: a clip from a made-for-internet movie that we watched in my Chinese media class: "007 vs. the Man in Black"
  

• World Vision's report on human trafficking
  

• "Pastor Dad" - an e-booklet by Mark Driscoll
  

• A quote from AC's If: "If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love.  For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even a drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted."
  

• I went skydiving with my dad!  You can tell from the pictures that I had fun!
  

Thoughts on the pictures (expressing my vanity): I look really good in these pictures, in my opinion.  Which is weird because I haven't showered, my hair is a mess, I'm sweaty, and obviously windblown after I land, still they're great pictures of me.  I had wondered if it was just the photographer...that's a sad way to look at things though.  I think, part of me needs to admit that when I am as happy and confident as I was in these pictures, I'm...beautiful.

The reason for my happiness/confidence: I had seen my dad skydive throughout my childhood.  Of course there was some fear and adrenaline, but if I'd just stop and remember that I've seen skydiving be successful many times before, and put trust in my tandem jumper, I'd be just fine.  So I just had to sit back and enjoy!

-->hear the spiritual implications?

Skydiving is not nearly as scary as moving to a foreign country.  But I'm doing that too, and hope that by remembering what my Father has done for me already and how He protects and shields me and "surrounds me with shouts of deliverance" I'll be okay.  So I hope I look just as good in all my pictures from Turkey :P

• My roommate Erin is getting married soon!  Woohoo!  Congrats Erin!
  

• Facebook again is crazy.  Appropriate behavior is difficult for me.  The balance between misuse and avoiding community is hard for me to find.  But my accountability partner Christina has internet access again, and she has been really good helping me.  And I really appreciate the support I've gotten from CESL friends (especially all you gila Indonesians!) and the encouragement from Villagers ^_^.  And even better~ Romans 6:1-2 "What shall I say then?  Shall I go on misusing time via Facebook so that grace may abound?  By no means!  I died to misusing time via Facebook; how can I live misusing time via Facebook any longer?"
  

• I had a great time in Irvine last month with my friends and I'm really looking forward to Seattle next week with Natsuko!
  

• I will leave for Turkey on August 20th and will arrive on August 21st.  The 21st is the night the month of Ramadan starts.  I'm excited to get to experience Ramadan in an Islamic country, especially Eid! (the celebration at the end of the fast)
  

• So this is somewhat old news but it made me happy.  The kid actors of Slumdog Millionaire Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail and Rubina Ali who have still been living in slums are being taken care of.
  

they're adorable!

some articles:

'Slumdog Millionaire' child star moves from slum shanty into new apartment

Slumdog Millionaire's Rubina Ali to release autobiography

Azhar has a new home and Rubina will have one soon, after both of their places had been demolished earlier this year.  Pray for the millions of kids in India and around the world who live in poverty and didn't get picked for a movie to get all this stuff.

• Satan hates me.  But he's defeated.  Thank You, Jesus.
  

• 2 things I'm really not good at: saying goodbye, and knowing what to do/say when my friends' relationships break up. :(  I've tried to blog about goodbyes many many times and still can't express everything.  I hate it.
  

• The Book of Acts is fascinating.
  

that's about it for now.

my prayer journal

I finished filling up this prayer journal a few weeks ago. I'm grateful for the time I've had to pray, causing it to fill up fast, but I wish I had more time with it; the design had so much character! I still remember my thought process when I bought it...

Wow, can you say "addict"?  Hmm, I like coffee...

(back cover)

Aww, cute lattes!  (look at front over again)...Oh, I get it!  It's a "coffee from around the world" journal!!

(inside front cover)

"muchas gracias!"  aww cute!!  And what's this? (The inside says "A cup of coffee commits one to forty years of friendship - Turkish Proverb")

A Turkish proverb?!?!  This journal was made for me!!  What's on the back cover?

(It says: "Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.")

HAHAHAHAH!!!  Is this about coffee or a woman?  OK!  I may not have the same love affair with coffee as this guy, but it's still so funny! I'm buying it!

I never thought I would proudly own anything that speaks of the devil or hell in a positive light.  But now the inside surely doesn't.  Just like in my other journals, I can reread it and be reminded of and amazed at how that black-as-coffee loser has truly become more and more defeated in my life as Jesus and I enjoyed together many battles, praises, tears, requests, confessions, secrets, hopes, dreams, disappointments, struggles, songs, psalms, poems, sketches, encouragement, fears, funny experiences, pleas, and victories (all usually with a cup of coffee).  Not to blow my own horn, because God deserves all the glory for this, nor give praise to journals, because the power of prayer is God's alone, but I do think that one of the coolest things about prayer journals is being able to look back and just read about what God has done specifically, what I asked for and seeing how He answered, and seeing how He's growing me, hopefully to be more and more like Him.  He and I have been through many journals before and by His grace I'm confident there will only be many more to come.  Praying in a journal isn't for everyone, but I'm thankful for it.

I hope I can find cute, cheap journals in Turkey.