let it all out

Everyone's waiting for me to write something about Turkey.  I've been here for 10 days, isn't it about time?

Turkey's been fun.  I'm liking it and there's actually been a ton of encouraging stuff.  I've made friends.  I'm going to visit Istanbul this weekend and Capadoccia not long afterward.

But my mind and spirit have been focused on things at home.

Don't know why God wants me to be dealing with this stuff now and not before I landed here, but I guess that's probably my fault too, but He can't wait any longer.  Oh Lord, help me love.

Ok I'm being really vague but if you know what I'm talking about: forgive me please.  And please understand that I'm trying.  And trying to stop trying.

meh...anyone remember Relient K?  I don't really like their style anymore but I sometimes wonder if my former obsession with them is the reason why I'm such a basket case sometimes.

Anyway, here's "Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet?" and "Let It All Out"

I think you know what I'm getting at

I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select 

you keep the bad but the good you just forget

and even though I'm angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can't believe this happened

And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for naught

No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far

Make your decision and don't you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn't turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault

I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge
I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I'm getting at
you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that

No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far

and wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can't believe this happened
and one day we'll see this come around)

No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
No, I don't hate you
don't want to fight you
know I'll always love you
but right now I just don't like you
cause you took this too far

what happened to us
i heard that it's me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn't you stop me from turning out this way
and know that I don't hate you
and know that I don't want to fight you
and know that I'll always love you
but right now I just don't...

Let it all out
get it all out
rip it out remove it
don't be alarmed
when the wound begins to bleed

cause we're so scared to find out
what this life's all about
so scared we're going to lose it
not knowing all along
that's exactly what we need

and today I will trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
but tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief

oh, inconsistent me
crying out for consistency

and You said "I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
the end will justify the pain it took to get us there"

and I'll let it be known
at times I have shown
signs of all my weakness
but somewhere in me
there is strength

and you promise me
that you believe
in time I will defeat this
cause somewhere in me
there is strength

and today I will trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
and I'll try my best to just forget
that that Man isn't me

and You said "I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
the end will justify the pain it took to get us there"

reach out to me
make my heart brand new
every beat will be for you
for You

and I know you know
you touched my life
when you touched my heavy heart and made it light