Phil. 1:18b-26 "Yes, and I will rejoice, 19for I know thatA)"> through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, 20as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. 23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. 24But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, 26so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again."
Our "glorified bodies." lolI think it's just starting to occur to me just how much my life was and will be affected by that summer. (perhaps ironic for those who have been around me and seen it).
my way of thinking about life and death really is different than others'!
and I hope my life can have as much of an impact as some of those before me.
I will write a more detailed post soon (a lot's been going on!)
But I thought I'd quickly give more evidence that my life is amazing! these are my gila Indonesian friends!!
so much better than the original!*
...
They'll soon be returning to their home country. Just like how my good friend Makiko just returned back to Japan.
I must admit, having to say goodbye so much is not one of my favorite parts of my life...
;_;
*edit: by better than the original I mean, so much better than the original Youtube video of some boys lip syncing to "Marimar." Not better than the original Indonesian group! All the Indonesians that have come to CESL have been awesome!
I haven't posted in a while. I really want to. I've been really busy.
I'll write a real post soon, but just to revive my blog...I thought this was crazy:
So I was helping the new group of Tokyo International University students settle into UofA today. This included getting them a Catcard and setting up their meal plan.
So in the meal plan office, there's a list of all the places on campus the meal plan can be used. Each location has a small description of the place. For example, Burger King's was "burgers and fries made your way" or something like that.
What was messed up was that Panda Express was labeled as: "authentic Chinese food"
I've been learning about God's love since I became a Christian. It's amazing how there's always more to learn, and more to chew on with things he's already taught me.
Thinking on my college experience, there have been a few revelations about God's love that I would dwell on for some time.
In Japan and the following year it was God's perfect love for all people, whether they knew him or not.
Most of 2007 it was God's jealous love that would not tolerate idols in my life, demanding my love as he poured out his. This was really difficult and painful. It was worth it.
In 2008 it was that God's love is strong. Yeah, it's the name of my favorite song. But praise God that my stubborn heart has gained something. I've been blown away. He is fierce, he is terrifying, he loves me. He'll protect me, and he died for me. Even after all my whorings (yay ESV lingo...really no word puts it better.)
I think anything else I could learn about God's love can be summed up in God's love is strong. Not that I'm done learning about it, it's just been such a solid truth...
Now Paul says "Be imitators of God, as beloved children" which is to "walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Eph. 5:1-2). What a hard act to follow. I just fail at love. In fact, one of the persons most dear to me has told me that because I did not love her well, she now loves her sin. She has her own things to deal with, but what about me? What a wretch I truly am! How many others have turned away from faith because of me? how many relationships are forever ruined because I have not loved well like my Lord? I know I am not responsible for everyone and their "reaction" to me...but I do have some responsibility, right? I feel awful.
And then Christ has died for this too? what a scandal. No one can love like him. I'm supposed to imitate him? Is this supposed to feel like a burden?...
Two concepts of God's love have been pounding me this winter break. One is how a man's love for a woman in marriage is an image of Christ's love for the church as outlined in the rest of Eph 5, certainly that's on my mind because this has been a winter break of weddings.
The other is a phrase that's repeated a lot among my friends: God loves us perfectly just as we are, but God loves us so much that he won't let us stay the way we are.
I love this. I've seen this. When I continue to love my idols, my ways, my self, God loves me still...but he doesn't tolerate the sin. And whatever it takes, he shows me: he loves me, and because he loves me he died for me so I can leave the sin and know his love more; he died for me so I could be dead to sin and alive in Christ; he died so I can change from my sinful ways and rejoice in him more. it's like hosea 6. and it's painful, but I know God more...what a joy!
How do we imitate this? If I try, it feels like judging the other person. Is it judging? Do I want to call it love but is it just judging? Actually, knowing me...probably. I know I'm a judgmental person, and that it is a sickening sin that keeps me from God and other people. And it's a sin that God won't tolerate, in his love. I hope that's why I'm so convicted of it now - because God is working on removing it. I want it to be gone. And I want to love. But then, when is it in love to tell someone to leave their sin? Maybe it totally will be, but I still fail. I love in a fallen way. And that just hurts other people and makes relationships worse. crap.
Then God redeems everything. Because of his love. Because of what he accomplished on the cross.
Seriously? what is this love I know, but can't comprehend!? I'm supposed to imitate it! I can't, I fail! He covers and redeems that too! What?! God's love is unlike anything!
God's love is perfect, jealous, strong. He is righteous and merciful in a way I can never be but looooong to learn. In his perfect love for himself he casts out the wicked and pours out his wrath. In his perfect love for himself he also loves the world and sent his Son, to pour out his wrath on him to be the propitiation of the sins of the wicked who trust him. Somehow I'm caught in this love story. It's amazing. I can't contain it. It's worth living for. It's worth telling everyone about...everyone needs to know about this. It's worth dying for.
I will love imperfectly, in a fallen state, until I'm with him. Until then he'll teach me more about his love, and I'll try to imitate as best as I can, because he's my Daddy. And when I fail - I always will - he can make it right. In him alone we have the hope of true love in a fallen world.
crazy.
okay, gotta stop now. I hope this made sense. It still doesn't quite make sense to me.
one thing I've always despaired about is how I'm awful at effectively expressing things. But if God's love is what I'm interested in, then I gotta get over that...and trust him.
So Christmas was really good. But it was also just one day, and was just like most other Christmases. This year, one day can't compare to a season of pretty sweet blessings. I'm gonna try to give the highlights!
First we have a bunch of silly pictures with me and my beautiful, lovely roommate Erin on her birthday. Living with her has probably been the greatest blessing of the semester! I love you Erin! I also love Alyssa's frequent visits to our room :D ISF had its annual square dance party! I was so glad to join! (I also went to the Ns square dance party too, which was also fun, but I have no pictures) Natsuko came with me to stay at my parent's house for Thanksgiving weekend, and her birthday! Natsuko, I love you! Also over Thanksgiving weekend, a whole bunch of ISF-ers came to Phoenix to eat together and Sezchuan (sp? sorry!) Palace! We got to join them. My whole women's Bible study went to see Denai's dance concert together! I love all of you! We did our annual CESL trip to Kartchner Caverns and Tombstone. Here's my favorite picture from the trip. Lung's such a nice guy... (praise the Lord, we got past the border security check placed right outside Tombstone with a van-full of id-less internationals!!)
Another CESL closing ceremony. Really I hate these closing ceremonies...they're always my last chance to see so many people. Oh well. Hopefully someday my life won't be full of so many goodbyes. Here's just a couple of pictures.
Clara and Joe (my co-worker?! weird!) goodbye :( As soon as our finals were done, Michelle, Ross, and I rushed down to ASU to visit Susan and her family (including Kev who had already gone up) before she leaves for California! She gave us a tour of the Sun Devil campus. And where else to eat but Toh Zan? (the only authentic Japanese food in Phoenix). oishikatta! aww! I love you Susan! and Michelle! After the night in Phoenix, we rushed back to Tucson so I could usher for the graduations at Centennial Hall! I loved being there for my graduating friends! First was Pick Chung, who double majored with honors! Impressive! ISF held a graduation party for him and Makiko. That party was really fun, and he, Makiko, and Amanda (the girls are leaving! ;_;) all gave some good speeches.
The next commencement was Ariel's! This was a big week for her! :) This isn't a good picture, but if you look carefully you can see Meaghan sitting 4th from the left in the back row. She got to sit on the stage for being an Eller college outstanding senior! yay seniors!
Next is a whole bunch of pictures from the Mullarkey wedding! It's been such a blessing learning from these two throughout almost my entire time at UofA, seeing them grow as a couple together at school and long distance in Japan for two summers (Ryan was on my Japan team in 2006, and Ariel went the next year in 2007). The ceremony was beautiful celebration of the Lord bringing together two people who have truly desired to honor the Lord and each other from the very beginning of their relationship. When I was driving back to Phoenix on the I-10 (always a spiritual experience for me), I listened to my freshman year mix CD. On it was a song Ariel sang often that year and shared with everyone, For My Love by Bethany Dillon. It made me so happy to listen to the words again, look back, and see that Ryan has been and will be the man Ariel was singing for. He has fought well for her love. :)
The voice talents of Danny and Andy were once again featured in the ceremony Katie, Sydney, me, and Sarah at the wedding Ariel and Lydia dancing. Both are so beautiful Me and the bride. :) Their wedding was also a SIJ reunion! Look at all the people at their wedding who are forever members of the Tokyo BEST club! Me, Ashley, Ross, and Yasushi! I haven't seen Yasushi since I was in Japan 2 years ago! Back with Joanna! yay Joni! I met Sae, finally! Ryan and Ariel's first dance as husband and wife! A picture just won't do, so here's a video of them dancing!.. but what makes this video even more fun is Jo's commentary! XD
She's referring to back in 06 when she and Ryan were teaching all of the Tokyo BEST students how to swing dance. ah memories! (read the whole story here)
It was a fun night for everyone. Here's some pretty fun pictures of all of us dancing. (oo I met Saaya too!) oh there's Mary! soon to be married as well! this picture is so fun Goodbye Mr. and Mrs Mullarkey!(for some much more professional pictures of the wedding, check out the ones Michelle took on Krista's blog [with more on Facebook, so I hear])
Katie let me stay at her place until the wedding! We had a lot of fun together, including coloring our own Aladdin posters! (notice how random my picture is! When did they go riding on a horse?) My first day back home, my mom, sister, and I made Christmas cookies and candy! I don't have any Christmas pictures, but the highlights include the time with my family, getting my car fixed as a present (no more duct tape on the taillights!), my grandma not being stressed out over Christmas dinner, my sister winning the Apples to Apples game I bought for the white elephant game, and playing it with my mom's friends that stayed at our house.
Finally, after Christmas I had another wedding, Melissa and Corey! Melissa looks so beautiful and happy in this picture. Congratulations!
I don't have many more pictures from this wedding, but this one was also like a big reunion. I got to see so many of my old friends from East Valley Bible Church back in high school!
So on the whole this semeseter and year ended great. Bring on the new year!
Phil. 1:18b-26 "Yes, and I will rejoice, 19for I know thatA)"> through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, 20as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. 23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. 24But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, 26so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again."
Our "glorified bodies." lol
I think it's just starting to occur to me just how much my life was and will be affected by that summer. (perhaps ironic for those who have been around me and seen it).
